Finding Support in the Middle

Finding Support in the Middle

One story caught in the middle between family and faith, finding hope and strength with other parents in Harvest USA’s Parent Support Group

 Click here  for Chris’ article, “Caught in the Middle between Family and Faith,” on the impact on parents when a child comes out.  

We were directed to the ministry of Harvest USA from a counselor shortly after finding out about our child’s struggle with same-sex attraction. Like many parents hearing such news for the first time, we were confused and shocked.  We felt like our lives had been turned upside down. We didn’t know where we should turn for help or what we should do.

What do we “get and give” while being a member of this group?

We learn a great deal, about God, about ourselves, and about what our children are going through.  It was so hard at first to comprehend that one of our children could be struggling with their sexuality.  We wished that our child’s sexual identity could change with counseling or reasoning from God’s word. We came to understand that simple or easy changes were not going to happen, but in the fellowship of the group we are reminded that God is sovereign over us and our child, that he is in control, and that our world is not collapsing around us.  God is our deep comfort, and one way he does this is through our brothers and sisters in the group.

We feel connected; no longer alone.  We are able to talk with other parents as well as get God’s perspective as we look into His word. To be hurting in isolation is so painful. To have other brothers and sisters in Christ come alongside and share their stories and experiences with their own children gave us hope and strength during a difficult time.

We feel safe.  The group is a safe place to cry, to be able to release our feelings and not feel like we’re the only ones dealing with such feelings.

 We pray and are prayed for.  It feels good to know that others are praying for us and our child, and that we could pray for them too. Praying for others in the group and coming alongside them helps us to get our attention off of our own child and to engage with others who need prayer and support too.  In the entire group experience, but especially during prayer, we come to live out what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

We learn how to love with Christ’s love. The staff at Harvest USA has helped us see how God wants us to respond to our children, and how we should engage the culture on this issue with compassion and truth. We’ve gained new insight into how to demonstrate God’s grace and love to our children.

We are changed. God has used this group to change us as parents.  Scripture teaches us that God uses everything that happens to a believer for his or her good. Our struggle with our child’s same-sex attraction has deepened our love for our children, and has made us more sensitive to this issue that is so much a part of our culture today.  We have learned that we all struggle with sin and that sin originates from idols that we hold dear to us. Homosexuality is no different from any other sin; it originates in our hearts.  Understanding the frailties of our own heart and also our child’s heart helps us to respond to our children and our culture as Christ would.

We find God to be a deep refuge. The Parent Support Group at Harvest USA is a refuge, a conduit of God’s grace in a culture struggling to understand and deal with sexual identity as God intended it to be.  As it says in Nahum 1:7: “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble; He cares for those who trust in him.”

To find out how a Parent Support Group can be started in your church, or if you want to consider joining ours in Philly, contact Chris Torchia at chris@harvestusa.org.

For more support for parents and churches, contact Brooke Delaney at brooke@harvestusa.org to find out how your church can host our “Shattered Dreams/New Hope” one-day seminar.

Harvest USA
About The Author
Nicholas Black is the Education & Resources Director at Harvest USA. Along with being part of the teaching staff, he oversees the writing and editing of all Harvest USA publications. Prior to joining Harvest USA, he was the Shepherding and Children’s Pastor at New Life Presbyterian Church, Glenside, PA for 14 years. He is a ruling elder in the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). He is married to Nancy, and is father to two adult children.

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