Resources Articles Same-Sex Attraction Help, My Roommate's Gay!


What you CAN'T Do


Even as you think about what you can do, and try to avoid things you shouldn't do, it may be helpful to be clear in your own mind what you CAN'T do.


Make excuses:

Because you are a Christian and your roommate is gay is NO excuse for your sins. Indeed, if you think you can sin openly with impunity is to communicate that hypocrisy is ok, but homosexuality is not. Show your roommate what confession, repentance, asking for forgiveness and restitution look like. Maybe he or she will catch on. 


Make everything OK:

Life is not easy, neat or OK, and neither are people. There is an understandable impulse to change conflict and tension into peace and order. All you can hope for between two sinners is either (a) honest humility amidst sin in our hearts and conduct, or (b) superficial conflict avoidance amidst sin in our hearts and conduct. Take your pick: one's messy now, one's a lot messier later, and later may be too late to show the gospel to someone in need.


Make anyone different:

Think about your own sin. Is it in your own power alone to change your whole heart and life to be what it should be? NO! What makes you think you can change somebody else, or talk them into doing what you can't even do yourself? What you can do is ask God to help YOU change, and THEN ask him to work that same kind of change in your roommate's life. 


Make God do what you want:

God doesn't always do what we want him to do or on our time table. Often people will get very resentful towards God for not relieving their tensions the way they want when they want. God is wiser and more patient than we are, and he knows best how to work in your circumstances. You can tell God what he's promised you; you can tell him thank you in advance for keeping his promises, but you can't tell him how to do what he knows best -- deal mercifully with sinners like ourselves.



 

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