Building Bridges with the Gay Community

Introduction

We often find ourselves in awkward situations in which holding to a biblical view of homosexuality will be controversial. In the office, at school, at a party, at church, in conversations with family, friends or neighbors -- talking about what you believe concerning homosexuality can be very difficult. When talking with people who believe homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle option, suggesting that homosexuality is sinful can appear stupid and rude - if not homophobic, unloving and abusive. When dealing with people who think homosexuals are simply sick perverts, it can appear wishy-washy, compromising, liberal and unbiblical to suggest that God loves and forgives sinners who struggle with homosexuality, and that we should do the same.

Different people are tempted in different ways when placed in these situations. Many of us want to sidestep the issue and avoid an unpleasant incident, concerned that the gospel message will get lost or distorted in the conflict, or that people will get the wrong impression and no longer listen. Sometimes we just don't want to bother with the hassle. Others of us can get so frustrated with those who hold to and promote destructive falsehoods that we show little Christ-likeness as we set out to clearly indicate exactly how we think the persons with whom we are speaking are wrong.

The issue of homosexuality takes these rather common relational dynamics and amplifies them. Discussion of homosexuality evokes strong emotions and responses, especially when people disagree, and touches on fundamental convictions about right and wrong, love and justice, heaven and hell. The responsibility of Christians to be both prophets and peacemakers in the midst of heated debate requires us to turn again to the Scriptures for guidance as to how we should represent Christ in a fallen world.

Patiently Listen

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. - James 1:19-20

Don't just listen for opportunities to find fault or critique. Listen to understand how others feel and think. Listen for what matters to the other people, what they value, what they fear. If you don't understand something, ask questions that encourage the person with whom you are speaking to explain better their position. When a factual claim is made, politely ask to have it substantiated with reference to a verifiable source. You can learn a lot, and demonstrate the kind of respectful hearing you would like to receive. The more you understand an opposing viewpoint, the more you can gain from it. More often than not, folks that are strongly mistaken in one respect are especially perceptive in another. The more you affirm what is true in someone's perspective, the more you can sensitively and credibly address what is errant.