The #MeToo movement keeps rolling along. As with any new cause, there is a tendency to go overboard and push things too far, but overall what has happened has been a very good thing. As a father who raised a daughter, I worried that she would be taken advantage of and then shamed or scared into silence. What a horrible experience that is for a child, for a young girl or boy to go through! With every outing of such men and their behavior, I say, Good! You finally got caught!
The latest offender in the #MeToo public bullseye is Larry Nassar, the doctor at Michigan State University who has been on trial for sexually abusing more than 100 girls. So many of the men in the news who are accused of sexual violence and misconduct did these things over and over. For years. With victim after victim silenced by power, reputation, fear, and shame.
The details of what they did vary, but what finally brought about the means to stop them was the same. They got caught. That is, someone talked. One woman, and then another, and another, mustered up the courage to give voice to expose such evil. Tragically, horribly, inexcusably, it took years for those voices to be heard. But finally someone listened, and now we are all listening.
We have an expression in our men’s biblical support groups here at Harvest USA:
It’s God’s mercy to you that you got caught.
Here’s what I mean. Many of the men who come to our biblical support groups are married, and they’ve been trapped in pornography. They aren’t sexual predators like Nassar, but in some ways, they are like him. They’ve spent years doing these behaviors, hiding their behavior, lying to their wives and family and looking respectable on the outside, while giving their hearts over to desires that rule them and own them.
A few self-confess and seek help. But the majority have gone so far with their sin, and have staked their livelihoods on their reputation and identity, that outing themselves is unlikely. Getting caught becomes the only way out.
But getting caught does not feel like God’s mercy at all. It feels like hell itself! Their entire world has crashed down upon them. Some have lost jobs, others their marriage and family, all have had their polished public image ripped to shreds.
Sin owns you, and in turn, you own it. The paradox is that while you feed on sinful impulses and desires, it feeds on you.
And then we tell them when they show up at group, “It’s God’s mercy to you that you got caught.”
It takes some time before the men come around to understanding this.
First, they have to acknowledge a strange paradox of human behavior. Rachael Denhollander, the gymnast whose legal action outed Larry Nassar, gave a stirring Christian testimony at Nassar’s sentencing where she touched on that paradox. She spoke about how Nassar pursued his desires to get sexual satisfaction from his victims, while being, at the same time, ruled by those same desires. She said, “You have become a man ruled by selfish and perverted desires, a man defined by his daily choices repeatedly to feed that selfishness and perversion. You chose to pursue your wickedness no matter what it cost others…”
Sin is slavery, said Jesus. “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). Sin owns you, and in turn, you own it. The paradox is that while you feed on sinful impulses and desires, it feeds on you.
And the first damage it does is to your own heart. Because sin—repeated sin—over time hardens your heart. Hardens it to the point where the heart begins to justify whatever it wants. Freezes it, with little warmth or compassion left for those you hurt because your needs must be met. Eventually, that heart, though made in the image of God and capable of great love and beauty and kindness, becomes the shadow of death to others and to itself.
In her testimony, Rachel then spoke about what repentance and forgiveness would mean for her abuser. “The Bible you carry speaks a final judgment where all of God’s wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found…I pray you experience the soul-crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God…”
All of us will be exposed – either in this life or the one to come. Will you come into the light? The question is whether we will voluntarily come into the light, or get caught.
Getting caught is the best thing to happen to Larry Nassar. Sure, primarily because the evil he did has now been stopped, and justice is now being meted out on him for his crimes. But also for his sake. That is what Rachael is offering him. He now has a chance to face, while still alive in this world, a God whom he would inevitably face in the world to come. Repentance is being offered to him, a chance for him to allow God to restore his heart and his humanity.
Getting caught is the best thing to happen to the men who come into our groups. Only now can they clearly see themselves and their behavior, see the damage it has done to others, the damage to themselves, and fall upon the grace Christ gives only to those who know they are guilty.
If we are honest with ourselves, all of us need to be caught. We need the eyes of others to see us, and we need their voices to speak up when they see us act wrongly. The writer of Hebrews exhorts his readers to do these very things with one another: “But exhort one another…that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).
Where does this blog find you? Are you still in hiding? Jesus warned, “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops” (Luke 12:2-3). All of us will be exposed – either in this life or the one to come. Will you come into the light? The question is whether we will voluntarily come into the light, or get caught.
Either way, it’s God’s mercy to us.
Nicholas talks more about this on his accompanying video: Why Is It Good to Get Caught in Your Sin? These short videos can be used as discussion starters in small group settings, mentoring relationships, men’s and women’s groups, etc.
01 Feb 2018
When you get caught in sin, it’s an awful feeling. No one likes to get called out for their behavior. But when it comes to living your life in secret, getting caught is the best thing that can happen. It’s God’s mercy to you that you got caught. When you come to see that truth, and embrace it, it restores your heart and your humanity.
Click here to read more on what Nicholas is saying on his blog: “Getting Caught Is God’s Mercy: Reflections on Larry Nassar and Repentance”
24 Jan 2018
It’s pretty well established that pornography impacts the way men view women, even in the way they treat them non-sexually. But for one man, the impact of pornography on his mind and heart started as a young boy stealing glances at his father’s porn stash. This wasn’t harmless activity; it caused confusion that lasted well into adulthood and his own marriage.
Click here to read more on what Bob is saying on his blog: ‘Coming to Grips with how Porn has Damaged My View of Women.”
I was born two years before the first issue of Playboy premiered, and when I was only six years old, I found some Playboy magazines in my father’s night table next to his bed. I stumbled across them quite innocently enough. Looking back, it was nothing like the porn I looked at as an adult. But it was porn, and I do remember being impacted by the images of naked women.
As a boy of only six, I felt strange sensations looking at the women sprawled across the pages. Feeling excited but also feeling guilty, knowing, somehow, I was looking at something I shouldn’t have. In my young heart and mind, I intended on coming back for more looks because of the good feeling, but I felt compelled to sneak because of the guilty feelings. Later, I discovered that my father had many ingenious places to hide these magazines around the house, but I’m pretty sure I found them all.
Each month I would look forward to new magazines showing up in different hidden places. This was a little private adventure in my life that I never told anyone about. You see, the sexual revolution had just started (thanks to publications like Playboy) and back then people were not openly talking about pornography and masturbation.
So I kept my behavior to myself thinking I was quite alone in what I was experiencing. I also had a tough time processing information I heard about masturbation. I connected it so much with my shameful sneaking that I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing what I was doing.
The point here is this: something happened to me. The images I was too young to process impacted my soul. Some sort of damage occurred. That is why I liken aspects of that experience to being molested. The women in the photos didn’t know how they impacted a six-year-old boy, but that does not make them entirely innocent. This might sound a little overboard for you. But the way I experienced all this felt, in one way, similar to what some people who have been molested have experienced—feeling pleasure and guilt at the same time and ending up confused and conflicted. How was I to think about women after looking at them this way?
If I felt that my experience of looking at porn as a young boy was similar to being molested, then my looking at porn as a grown man was like molesting women. How common is this: the abused becomes the abuser?
But I also had to come to the point of questioning my dad’s behavior and how that confused me. Why did he hide the magazines if they were OK to look at? I didn’t see the magazines laying around other people’s houses. The shame I felt about my inability to process the sexual information I was gathering was huge. I couldn’t get over the idea that normal people probably would go to bed and then go to sleep. I could not do that. I had to do something else first.
Coming to grips with my own personal soul damage was very strategic for me. I certainly believe my indulgence in viewing pornographic images impacted my relationship with women. Among many ways I have disrespected women, speaking to them in a condescending manner is probably top on the list. Dismissing women as too emotional, irrational, and calling them “sweetheart” or “honey” when all I was doing was keeping them in their place. Pretending to listen to them, but all the while trying to catch a glance at certain body parts or saving circumstances in my mind for future fantasies. After all, I could use their body any way I wanted to in my imagination. This is strange behavior for a Christian, I know. But I have come to see that porn taught me to treat women in a more misogynist manner than I probably fully recognize.
And then it hit me. If I felt that my experience of looking at porn as a young boy was similar to being molested, then my looking at porn as a grown man was like molesting women. How common is this: the abused becomes the abuser?
It’s taken me a long time to repent of the way I treat women. I’m still repenting. I have learned that the healing power of the gospel consists in being confronted with the truth of how I have treated others, and repenting as a result. Knowing what I deserve even for a glance (Matt. 5:27-30) can be overwhelming.
But knowing God’s call to repentance goes way down to the depths of your heart. It tears away any pretense of false integrity and assures you that you are really dealing with God. And when you know that the God who made heaven and earth is graciously offering forgiveness and a new start—your heart becomes equipped to change behaviors and attitudes. I needed the healing that only God can provide through what He accomplished in Christ on the cross.
I see it happening with me, and I want to encourage you, men, that it can happen to you. You can treat women as those who are created in God’s image and relate to Christian women as your sisters in Christ. You can go eyeball to eyeball with the women you talk to and not let your mind wander elsewhere. You can care for their hearts, and later you can pray for them.
This is living by faith and not by sight; this is having eyes that are no longer filled with darkness, but rather with light.
Bob talks more about this on his accompanying video: How Did My Porn Habit Damage My View of Women? These short videos can be used as discussion starters in small group settings, mentoring relationships, men’s and women’s groups, etc.
11 Jan 2018
For all of us, it’s no secret that pornography is everywhere on the internet. And with the startling rise of mobile devices, and their ability to hook us to keep looking at them, then the problem with pornography is only getting amplified. We have to begin asking ourselves hard questions. We have to protect our children—and yes, even ourselves.
Click here to read more about what Cooper is talking about on his blog: “Is it Time to Walk Away from Our Mobile Devices?”
11 Jan 2018
The proverbial kid in the candy store is a striking portrait, and so is our obsession with mobile devices, porn, and the Internet. Permeated by a wonderland of mobile devices with varied apps and social media platforms, the internet via our smart devices has become a major highway to porn.
As parents, we rightly yearn for the details of helping our children deal with porn and manage their devices: the filters and accountability software to use, screen-free zones in the house, etc. The concern for managing technology, however, is asking how to rightly eat the candy.
But I’m concerned that we’ve refused to acknowledge that the candy might be laced with cyanide.
I’m concerned that we’re not questioning the assumed blocks of our 21st-century existence.
I’m concerned, because if we’re not asking deeper questions, pornography usage, which is closely connected with smart devices, will further rise like an overwhelming wave to consume our children.
On January 6, some of Apple’s shareholder’s, owning some $2 billion in stocks, sent Apple an open letter urging them to address recent, scientific findings about the addictive and harmful effects of smartphones among teens. The science is pretty compelling. Consider also Tristan Harris, a former design ethicist at Google who has launched a new initiative for more ethically-conscious tech in light of his own knowledge of how the industry works to manipulate our time. Check out his TED talks here and here and some of his articles here, and here. If our devices seem designed to keep us coming back for more like a Pavlovian dog, and if pornography is as ubiquitous as we all know it to be, let’s pause.
More basic than management of our devices is the worldview by which we live. As parents, along with ways to help our children manage the Internet and their mobile devices, are we coming to terms with our own worldviews — and helping our kids come to terms with theirs — which oftentimes assume an enslaving normality?
If our devices seem designed to keep us coming back for more like a Pavlovian dog, and if pornography is as ubiquitous as we all know it to be, let’s pause.
Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30).
Implicit in His words is a love for Him than surpasses anything else on this planet. In the wake of Him, every minute detail of life, even the thing that seems so indispensable, is to be filtered through this question: will this contribute to me following Jesus?
One of the goals, then, of discipling our families is to help cultivate in them a love for Christ that will enable them to formulate worldviews which are radically oriented around the Kingdom of God. To be sure, evil doesn’t begin in the candy store; sin begins in our own hearts. But the candy store can play a significant role in how our flesh roams. Assuming, then, that there’s more to be done than managing our devices, let’s turn our attention to the candy itself.
Question the Closeness of the Internet
In helping both ourselves and our children avoid pornography, what’s a more basic worldview question than, what are the best filtering and accountability options?
It’s this: is having the Internet so close to us all the time facilitating our walk with Christ? For the child, and the parent, who is struggling with porn and tempted constantly, the answer is an emphatic no. In light of Christ, we must have the courage to act on that answer.
But even if we and our children are not so engaged with porn, shouldn’t we all be concerned with having such a potentially destructive force in our hands at all times? Because of our own weakness, the addictive design of the smart-phone, and the prevalence of porn, perhaps we should all question the accessibility of the web in our lives. What if we actually removed our capabilities to access the internet on some of our devices altogether? What if, through our use of filtering software, we implemented times throughout the day during which we can’t access the Internet?
To be sure, evil doesn’t begin in the candy store; sin begins in our own hearts. But the candy store can play a significant role in how our flesh roams. Assuming, then, that there’s more to be done than managing our devices, let’s turn our attention to the candy itself.
Question the Smartness of Smart Technology
Maybe we should also thoughtfully ponder the role that smart technology plays in our lives. Let’s bring our phones, our tablets, our watches, our TVs, and everything else that we can use before the feet of Jesus. Perhaps the better question is not, “how do I manage this device?” but rather, “should I even have this device?” Before we rejoice that we aren’t like that guy over there looking at porn regularly on his smartphone, we should also remember that we are more like that guy than we would often care to admit. It only takes one moment of weakness, and we are very weak. It might be time to regress to a dumb phone.
At the very least, it is time to admit that these devices are beginning to own us, and our kids, and we must no longer be passive in allowing our children and us to keep on deepening our addiction to them.
Christians have always questioned the foundations of the culture in which they lived. Instead of accepting those assumptions as normative, I want my children, and myself, to bring those assumptions of our modern culture into the light and ask hard questions of them. Are we helping our kids form worldviews that perceive the supremacy of God in Christ as the ultimate point of life? Are we helping them to experience an alternate life, a life filled with actual human beings, actual relationships, and true, sacrificial love? Or are we simply digesting the norms of our culture, without thoughtfully vetting them through a Christ-centered worldview?
Jesus knows that anything we give up on this side of eternity will be nothing compared to what is now given to us in Him and what will be given to us by Him when we reach the other side. As we start the New Year, if we centered the discussion around our devotion to Christ, with His splendor, glory, and superior beauty, and asked hard worldview questions of the assumed pillars of our 21st-century existence, we might stand out, for example, at restaurants as people who engage others and are not consumed with our screens. We might find a measure of sanity concerning porn. And, most importantly, we might become more thoughtful, intentional, and devoted followers of our Lord.
Cooper talks more about this on his accompanying video: Is it Time to Walk Away from Our Mobile Devices? These short videos can be used as discussion starters in small group settings, mentoring relationships, men’s and women’s groups, etc.
14 Dec 2017
Like millions of others, I felt another gut punch recently. Another high profile person facing allegations of sexual misconduct, this time NBC personality, Matt Lauer. Really?! Another allegation? Him too? Gut punched. Another nice guy—I thought!—outed for sinful, selfish acts.
Apparently, according to a Google search, there have been more than 80 publicized sexual harassment allegations against actors, politicians, artists, athletes, musicians, corporate titans, and more. The media hasn’t categorized these acts as sin, but instead, have used a variety of words to depict these sexually-selfish actions since the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke in October. Slow down and listen to the sound of these words. Harassment, misconduct, assault, degradation, rape, abuse, inappropriate and non-consensual touching and advances.
Do you fully realize the impact of these acts in the lives of those who have endured them? In my ministry, about 80% of the women who confess their personal struggles with sexual sin to me also confess the sexual sins of others done against them. These kinds of sinful actions inflict long-lasting damage in a woman’s life!
So even though the Matt Lauer story gut-punched me, I have celebrated and done my own fist-pumping over the past months as these allegations have exposed abusers. Exposing sin is important!
Accusations and allegations are one way to address these horrible experiences. When someone alleges the wrong acts of another, she is, essentially, confessing the sin of another; she is exposing, as Ephesians 5:11-13 says, the deeds of darkness, making them visible so that justice might be done.
I wonder how different it would be if some of these men would have come forward and acknowledged their behavior before the allegations outed them.
But although going public was, in perhaps most of these cases, the only way these evil actions could have been exposed, I still grieve that it had to come to that. There is another way, but it places the responsibility on the one accused.
Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Hmm, a sober promise and a sweet one alongside each other. Concealing, or covering up sin, leads to a lack of prospering, or God-honoring success and victory in this life.
Here’s the sweetness of this verse: confessing (honestly acknowledging) and forsaking (intentionally abandoning) our sin against another leads to God’s merciful, compassionate love and forgiveness pouring into one’s soul and life. An instant removal of sin’s consequences and scars? No. Easy, painless restoration? Again, no. But a soul right with God, free of guilt and shame and now enabled to take the next steps of costly obedience? Yes!
I wonder how different it would be if some of these men would have come forward and acknowledged their behavior before the allegations outed them? I know that might be expecting way too much; a great many of these sexual offenses were particularly dark and destructive. Behaviors like these live in the dark, they feed on power and control, and exposure to light is the very thing they avoid at all costs. These men and their behaviors deserve the harsh exposure to light for all to see.
But now I’m thinking of the women I work with. How much different, perhaps, would their lives now be if any of the men—many who were as involved in the church as these women were, men who identified as believers—would have come forward, on their own, and acknowledged their sin. I wonder how many, while continuing to live in fear of being found out, have, at some level, been moved by the cries of those they hurt. But they remain in the darkness because they fear what exposure will do to them.
And the Harvey Weinsteins and the Matt Lauers of this world give them evidence of what can happen.
But God offers a way out, a better way out.
There are consequences and scars from sin that will remain for all of us while we live on this earth. However, God’s way for the damage of sin to be healed (in both offender and offended) is to bring the sin into the light: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16a).
Have you sinned sexually against someone? Have you pursued someone selfishly, without consent—touching, groping, kissing, sending unsolicited sexual images, speaking sexually derogatory words, manipulating someone into sex, forcing someone? Look, the excuse that many of these men gave that these actions were consensual is pure obfuscation; they pursued what they wanted on their selfish terms. They thought they could get away with it.
Dear man or woman: God is pleading with you to confess and abandon your sin and to be washed in his mercy. But you must “self-allege:” I am a sinner needing grace and Christ’s washing! I am feeling trapped by these behaviors; drawn compulsively toward them. You must forsake and renounce: I will flee this sin, seek the help I need, humbly ask for forgiveness, willingly seek restoration, and courageously entrust the consequences of my obedience to Jesus.
These faith steps will take courage. They will be costly and painful; they will feel humiliating. Your sin has also been costly, painful, and humiliating to those on the receiving end of your selfish acts. But God’s good news is for you! God’s grace and mercy are yours for the taking, yours for what God has wanted to lavish upon you all along: forgiveness and freedom which only comes by dying to self.
And death to self starts with confession.
Watch Ellen talk more about this on her accompanying video: Why is it best for you to confess your own sin? These short videos can be used as discussion starters in small group settings, mentoring relationships, men’s and women’s groups, etc.
14 Dec 2017
The wave of sexual misconduct allegations is something the likes of which we have not seen. There’s a lot of good coming out of this exposing of sin—terrible sin, overwhelmingly against women. Healing is happening because of this exposure. But a deeper healing is possible if only the offender would take the first step. After 10 years of ministry to women at Harvest USA, Ellen Dykas shares her thoughts on one key way to respond biblically.
Click here to read more on what Ellen is saying on her blog: Confession: Better Than Allegations.
07 Dec 2017
As a youth minister, it’s an already confusing task to lead youth to the feet of Jesus when you yourself need to take the journey. How can we, as youth ministers, bear students’ sins and sufferings when we’re barely holding on? How can we lead youth to streams of living water when we’re dying in the desert?
And then throw porn into the mix. Some churches call for an all-out air strike on any of their staff who might wrestle with pornography: the staff position will be taken away, and the staff person will leave in shame. While we don’t have time to get into church policy, the measures taken by any church should be nuanced enough to vary by situation. But as youth ministers, how can we ourselves move forward? What are some initial categories we can keep in mind?
Confession to My Spouse, Boss, or Mentor?
Placed in context, the richness of James’ teaching on confession becomes apparent:
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working (5:13-16, ESV).
Confession does help others hold us accountable, but more than that, confession is a means for others to join their healing prayers for us with the two Divine intercessors, our Great High Priest and the Spirit (Romans 8:26-27, 34). Sin says, “Don’t confess. No one can be trusted.” Jesus says otherwise. Sin casts confession as insecurity and defeat. Jesus casts confession as a means to healing. Confession is scary, and I always wrestle with it whatever my sin. But I’ve got to lean into what I know is true: God says there is healing here, not destruction.
If there is a pattern of confession already taking place in your marriage, confess to your spouse. I understand there are a whole host of issues that need to be addressed, from the support your wife needs after hearing your confession to how often you confess to your wife, but I always air on the side of transparency. But should you confess to your boss? It certainly depends on the type of church culture you are in and, more particularly, the relationship you have with your boss. This needs to be in the equation at some point, but I would suggest you first start elsewhere. What about a peer? I certainly think so, but peers usually do not have the grey streaks of wisdom that come with age and experience. That grey-streaked wisdom can help to lift us from the mire, instead of simply commiserating with us in the midst of it.
Consider confessing to someone older and wiser, preferably someone in ministry, who has demonstrated not only a record of humility but also a record of being able to shoulder other people’s burdens. This person will be able to both empathize with you and point out potential blind spots in yourself.
The urgent call is clear: we need to brainstorm ways, to whomever we confess, to practically turn from our sin and turn to Jesus. At minimum, it will mean installing filtering and accountability software on all devices you use. But it could also mean getting rid of smartphones or personal computers altogether. It could mean setting up times of Bible study and prayer with the person to whom you confess. It will certainly mean making a habit of daily prayer to cast ourselves upon our God. The key is practical, daily repentance, not lofty, vague goals.
As a youth leader, you are already serving. But as a way to battle the inward spiral of selfishness that porn facilitates, let’s look for ways for you to serve more. Can you set up regular times to do the dishes for your wife or husband instead of surfing the Internet? Can you set up a standing meeting with students that will interfere with your usual time of looking at porn (i.e., early breakfasts, dinners)? With the person to whom we confess, it’s good to brainstorm little, practical ways that we can further love and serve others for the kingdom of God.
All of the above ideas – confession, repentance, and love – happen in the midst of a relationship with someone we trust. I would strongly advise finding older and wiser men and women who can serve as mentors for us. This could mean having a standing meeting where we talk about life, stress, good things, hard things, or anything at all. During these meetings spend time in prayer, walk through a book on Christian living together, or simply read Scripture.
Pornography thrives in the darkness of isolation. It is best dispelled in the light of relationship with others.
When Do We Need to Exit Ministry?
When is pornography a disqualification from ministry? My first response is: I don’t know. If we continue to harbor the secret sin of porn and do not confess and ask for help from anyone, then clearly we have no business in ministry, where openness and honesty in the light of Christ should be the norm. On the other hand, if the presence of pornography is simply ubiquitous, infused into our lives with power and influence, and if taking the steps above are not leading to measurable evidence of practical repentance and change, then yes, step away from ministry. Here is when you need to ask your supervisor for their input and honestly submit to your local church.
I think a certain posture is key, however, in being able to do this: we need to be so focused on Christ and His faithfulness in practical ways that everything else in our lives, including our jobs, can be up for grabs. We need to ask at least two question of ourselves. The first is, are we going to be helpful to others if we continue to struggle like this with porn? The second is, am I giving myself time to heal, obey, and follow Jesus if I’m struggling so much with porn and trying to lead others to Jesus?
Jesus Chose You
Overall, it is difficult to reconcile our own sin with the leadership task we have been given as youth ministers. But we also need to recognize that God has chosen sinners to act as youth ministers; He has chosen us in our weakness and sin to point others to Himself. Jesus’ words are obvious, but I often forget the obvious: “‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners’” (Mark 2:17). Still, just because Jesus chose sinners to do his work does not mean that we should continue in youth ministry. Wisdom and input from others is crucial.
Whether we continue in our job or not, we must remember that Jesus came for people like us and has united us to Himself in a Spirit-forged bond. The Spirit residing within us is power to engage the fight passionately and relentlessly. He will not give up on us. And that truth is water to a desert-ridden soul, hope for the confused youth minister, and fuel to keep leading others to the very same Savior that we ourselves so desperately need.