A Biblical View of Homosexuality: Changed your mind?—Part 3

A third reason why we may change our minds on what Scripture has historically about the acceptability of homosexuality has to do with the company we keep. By this I mean, consider what you are reading, seeing, and viewing in today’s media. I’m not advocating we turn off the TV or stop reading articles and books that take positions different from our own, but we need to be careful that those positions may alter our view—not because of their reasoning, but because of the status of the person writing the material.

One author I have always enjoyed for his devotional work is Henri Nouwen. During the last years of his life, however, Nouwen’s theology openly shifted not just regarding homosexuality but also regarding the uniqueness of Christ and his work as the only way to God. Only after his death did some of the reason for that shift become apparent: Nouwen himself secretly struggled with same-sex attraction. Couple that with dabbling in eastern religions, and Nouwen began to shift his own views. It wasn’t so much his own wrestling with Scripture that brought about this positional shift; it was what was going on in his own life. But Nouwen’s status, huge and imposing in the Christian world, had and still has a powerful impact on those who read him.

Who we listen to really does matter. Again, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t read anything that differs from our own viewpoint, or anything that differs from an historic Christian doctrinal position. We need to have our own positions, and the historical Christian position is sharpened by interacting with how the current culture is thinking. But we also have to be aware that when someone we admire begins to shift his or her position on what the Scriptures say, that can have a significant impact on us. We can be swayed not merely on the basis of a reasoned argument, but because we don’t want to look “out of step” with people whose thinking we have admired.

Have you ever been swayed to a different position than what the Scripture has historically taught (on anything) because someone you admired or respected took a different position?

Part 1., Part 2.

Updated 5.10.2017
John Freeman
About The Author
John began his ministry with Harvest USA as a volunteer while in seminary. As Founder of the organization he champions the mission of Harvest USA. He has a deep burden to see those who struggle with pornography, homosexuality and other sexual addictions experience changed lives through Jesus Christ. John spends most of his time helping churches be equipped to better care for the hearts of individuals and families vulnerable to these struggles.


  • By Kathy 28 Nov 2010

    I have read your blog on how it seems we are faultering as a church in light of homosexuality. My husband of 17 years, after years of struggling against his sin nature, the draw towards same sex attraction, left me in June for a man. Now, He knows the truth of scripture, knows God’s word, has been a leader in ministry, has a book in draft to speak to the difficulties of the sin nature and how to succeed in striving thru a Christian perspective. He was so on fire for God, and now it seems that satan has taken him out, so to speak. He has also struggled with alcohol. We are not divorced yet, but he is living with this man in Florida. I am in Michigan. We talk a little, email, text, and occasional phone call, but I am so sad, I end up crying afterward for the seeming extreme loss, not just to me but to the ” used to be mission” and to the shame and disgrace now towards the name of “Christian” that he used to be such a representative of. When I recently asked him if he was still drinking to excess, he said that issue just seemed to have corrected, gone away, now. Its like satan has him now, and is now no longer causing this turmoil because he has given into it. He wants to end our marriage as friends…but I still believe he is living in sin and in spite of the fact he has argued the “new homosexual bible view” which to me when he tried to explain it, he ended up basically calling himself a prostitute…I remember looking at him like he was crazy. It is all so complicated, I want to speak the truth in love… but also don’t want to encourage or pacify this shame, and he has anger/respect issues, which if I push the truth, he may get extremely angry and make things even more difficult for all, his parents, myself and others that are in the midst of this mess. There are so many people he was supposed to reach for Christ and now he has surrounded himself with these same people who not Christian, tell him he just needs to do what is right for him. The loss is beyond words, I cry to God for intervention.

    • By John Freeman 07 Dec 2010


      Thanks for your e-mail. The pain of your situation with your husband is evident– as is your concern for his soul. You put it best when you describe it as, “beyond words”. Your experience is becoming a more common one. Unfortunately, an increasing number of God’s people are falling prey to the deceitfulness of sin and the ploys of the evil one in this whole area of sexuality. May the Lord bless and keep you in his care as you continue to walk this journey with the Lord’s help and support. John Freeman

  • By Mark 24 Mar 2011

    Kathy, there is hope in The Lord Jesus Christ. I struggled with same sex attraction since before my wife and i got married. it’s not that i didn’t love my wife, but this sin has a very strong hold on most who struggle with it. I came to Christ when I was about 25, thinking I would no longer struggle with SSA, pornography, masturbation and all that goes with it. After another 31 years of this secret struggle, God intervened in my life and sent Harvest USA into my life. I have learned that these sins in my life are more deply rooted than I ever thought. I tried to have needs like affirmation and acceptance met through sexual relations with men. The Lord Jesus is continuing to work in my heart day after day. I see that your husband is trying to justify homosexuality through the “NEW” teachings about it. I also wanted to do that as well, but knew in my heart of hearts it was wrong. I want to give you encouragement that The Lord Jesus can break through, but it will take patience, prayer and willingness to let God do what he needs to do in your husbands life to bring him to a place of repentance. One of my life verses comes from Psalm 3:4-6. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Don’t lean on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Perhaps this does not releive the pain you are experiencing, but Jesus can and will give you peace through this horrific trial. I will pray for you and your husband. Just so you know, I am still married… There is Hope in Jesus because He is our hope.

    In the love of Jesus,

  • By Kathy 11 Apr 2011

    Thank you for the encouraging words, and for prayer, this has been an extremely difficult journey, that I would not wish on anyone. I have filed for divorce, but still pray every day for God’s will to be done in his life. I fear that he is comfortable in his new identity, and as of yet does not have any regrets. I am fortunate that I am not seeing his activities first hand. I don’t think I could handle it. His parents do see it, as they winter not far from where he is at, and they tell me that he is “gone” and that I need to move on. They love me and also hope and pray but….I am seeing a counselor that tells me also to move on, my mind and logic say so, but my heart just seems to not want to let go or give up hope…I am broken in so many ways, but God has been so very loving and kind during this ordeal, I have been so blessed by His presence in my life, thank you again for your message, and for your openness and willingness to share with me. God bless you and keep you from temptation, and strenghten you in His service.

  • By Susan 21 Oct 2011

    All you are doing is teaching self hate. Which in my opinion is way worse then homosexuality. @ Kathy it is hard to rationalize someone walking out on you when you can’t even compare and contrast the person you are being left for. I’m am sorry about your marriage – but it sounds like your husband is gay. The drug abuse he has taken in his is own self hate that he still has to work on. God made you who you are – we live in a society that teaches aganist that. Sorry most of the things in the bible are not relevant to how we live today. People like to pick and choose what they follow and call it doctrine. In reality no one really knows what is truth – but to admit that would be classifying you as a non-believer, which is way outside the box of social norms that we oppose on people. @ Harvest USA I believe in God, he has been there for me when others were not. I believe in acceptance of those different then me – because that is truly living in the grace of love, kindness and raw truth. Those who claim they are healed from their homosexual behavior are not. Sorry. You were born that way. God loves you just the same as he did yesterday.

  • By Kathy 24 Oct 2011

    Susan, I sense that you are trying to encourage me and I appreciate your thoughtfulness. We do live in a world, and a nation that seems to be drifting from Biblical truth, people do pick and choose doctrine to justify their actions, and the media as well as the classrooms are teaching a “you have to do what’s right for you” doctrine, which has no moral truth. God gave us the Bible as our primary guideline for moral truth, and I believe that “You can know the truth, and the truth can set you free”. I also believe the Bible is relevant for today just like it was 40 years ago, or 200 years ago, the Bible does not change even though our culture would like it to. If I am born prideful and independent, does this mean that I am better than anyone else?? or that I don’t need God or the forgiveness and salvation He offers me thru Jesus Christ??? NO!! What if I want what others have and steal to get them, can I just say I am born this way and don’t have to stop these activities?? NO!! We are all born with weakness’ and sinful natures that cause us to turn towards God. I believe God loves us just as we are, however he loves us too much to leave us that way and thru the work of the Holy spirit we can be changed and can turn from our natural tendency towards sin and all the consequences at follow. I believe that we must come to God on His terms not on our terms. I believe that end times speak of Satan’s deception of man increasing and many will fall away from the Truth. I pray that the Church will be persistent in the proclamation of Biblical truth, hoping that many will turn away sin. I still pray daily for my Ex, I know he is trying to find his way back to God. I know that God draws near to a broken and contrite heart…contrite – complete surrender to His will and His way. This is what I pray for him and any other who has lost there way. Jesus saves!! Jesus heals!! Life lived His way is the best way! In conclusion, I still love my Ex, I still cry for him, I still pray for him, but not for the loss of “us” but for his loss, his pain and his deception.

  • By Dianna 10 Feb 2012

    Well said Kathy! I agree with you. The word of God is our roadmap to life. It’s hard to watch your family be deceived by the world but we are to stand firm in our faith in Christ even when none go with us. I tried to raise my children in the ways of the Lord but they make their own choices when they are grown. I’ve made alot of mistakes (yo-yo christian) but I know I’ve been forgiven. Now I just continue to lift my family in prayer daily and pray for God’s mercy and grace to open their eyes and hearts. My daughter is in a same sex relationship, my son is living in sin with a female, my husband is an alcoholic. They were not born that way, they chose to go that way. When we dabble in sin we reap what we sow. I know that all too well… Sounds like Susan is struggling with the truth. I pray she finds the truth so it will set her free….

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